Gas and Mass in Pearland: A Report
I dropped the wife off at work in Pearland, and I decided to get some gas before I left for home (the fact that the gas light had been on for about three miles helped this decision considerably). When I get to the pump, the LCD screen says something to the effect of “would you like some [fuel additive] friend?” Call me old fashioned, but I don’t often consider myself friends with things that (1) I’ve only known for 30 seconds and (2) are gas pumps. If it were my friend, shouldn’t it at least give me the gas at cost or with a discount? Gas pumps, like Taco Bell, serve only one purpose: giving gas to the American public.
Once my new friend is filling up the car, the pump’s LCD screen shows an ad for a cigarette brand called something like “Libson” or “Libberato.” The cigarette’s slogan: “get Libby with it.” I cringed.
After giving up on watching the screen, I started looking at my friend’s house. On one of the pillars next to pump had the following graffiti: “D & D 4 EVAR.” Given my record of abysmal spelling, I’ll let the “evar” go. Looking at the initials, I couldn’t help but wonder whether it was written by some guy named Dave about how much he loved Donna, or if it was some pasty nerd who really liked his level 15 Elf Mage.*
Later, the wife and I go for the first time to some Catholic Church in Pearland. While the services were more or less the same as usual (“We believe in the teachings of Cathol . . .**), the music was, to say the least, odd. Our last two churches had fairly traditional music. The first had a small choir and a piano. The Pasadena church had a choir, a rather large pipe organ and the occasional bell just for good measure. The new church, on the other hand, had a choir and piano as well as a cheesey synthesizer, electronic drum kit and a bunch of high school students with horns. It was like the church choir was a mix of Chicago and Tears for Fears.
* I’m pretty sure that making a Dungeons & Dragons joke is grounds for an annulment, so hopefully the wife won’t read down this far.
** I’ll give one shiny quarter to the first person who can correctly identify this quote
Once my new friend is filling up the car, the pump’s LCD screen shows an ad for a cigarette brand called something like “Libson” or “Libberato.” The cigarette’s slogan: “get Libby with it.” I cringed.
After giving up on watching the screen, I started looking at my friend’s house. On one of the pillars next to pump had the following graffiti: “D & D 4 EVAR.” Given my record of abysmal spelling, I’ll let the “evar” go. Looking at the initials, I couldn’t help but wonder whether it was written by some guy named Dave about how much he loved Donna, or if it was some pasty nerd who really liked his level 15 Elf Mage.*
Later, the wife and I go for the first time to some Catholic Church in Pearland. While the services were more or less the same as usual (“We believe in the teachings of Cathol . . .**), the music was, to say the least, odd. Our last two churches had fairly traditional music. The first had a small choir and a piano. The Pasadena church had a choir, a rather large pipe organ and the occasional bell just for good measure. The new church, on the other hand, had a choir and piano as well as a cheesey synthesizer, electronic drum kit and a bunch of high school students with horns. It was like the church choir was a mix of Chicago and Tears for Fears.
* I’m pretty sure that making a Dungeons & Dragons joke is grounds for an annulment, so hopefully the wife won’t read down this far.
** I’ll give one shiny quarter to the first person who can correctly identify this quote
posted by Sam @ 1:41 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
"It was like the church choir was a mix of Chicago and Tears for Fears."
i commend you for this remark. bravo.
The teachings of Cathol quote is from Eddie Izzard, Dress to Kill. Cake or Death Sam?
Ummm, cake.
Ciao . . .
Well we're outta cake! We only had 3 bits and we didn't expect such a rush.
So my choices are "or death"...
Well I'll have the chicken then.
Thank you for flying Church of England, Cake or Death?
Hate to interrupt your fun Sam and Anon, but speaking of abysmal spelling, did you notice Dean P's misspelling in her most recent email? Maybe they shouldn't cancel a Legal Research and Wirting class this semester because some people need to learn how to wirt.
As noted supra, I won't make fun of her spelling. That being said, wow.
Thanks for making me go back and actually read that email; I think I'll add the class with ole Wilksie. That should be fun.
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