The wife is trying to kill me
Lauren was trying to spray one of our cats to kill the fleas on him, but he was resisting. I get from my brief (for once I actually wasn’t playing Counter Strike) and hold the cat. She starts spraying, trying to go quickly so the cat won’t claw me too badly, when she “misses” (I don’t believe that part) and sprays poison right square in my face.
There I am, holding a wet and kicking cat with insecticide in my eyes. Lauren had to grab the cat to hold him in a towel (apparently it could be bad if he got in his eyes) while I had to go flush my eyes. The sink is too low, so needed to get in the shower. I had to fumble to take off my shoes and what not with my eyes closed, then stumble blindly into the bathroom. I almost tripped over the ledge to the bathtub, but managed to get to the knob to turn on the water. This was also unfortunate, as I turned on the water while standing directly under the shower head, so I was somewhat surprised by the blast of cold water.
Once the water finally warmed up, I then got to stand in the shower for fifteen minutes spraying water in my eyes. I normally take quick showers, so fifteen minutes seems like a long time, but this was worse. Fifteen minutes of just standing there, leaned against the wall getting really hot water in my eyes. Once I finally made it out of the shower, I got to turn my sore, burning eyes back to the stupid brief. I hate my life.
posted by Sam @ 10:08 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
Was it difficut to take off your what not?
Was it difficut to take off your what not?
The problem is that, a few mornings ago, while I was tying my shoes, my shoelace snapped (causing the hand pulling on the lace to hit myself in the nose). The only replacement I could find is disgustingly long and thin, so I have to triple knot my shoes to keep from stepping on the laces. It’s not much fun trying to undo a thin, triple knot with your eyes closed and while trying not to think about the intense burning from the pesticide. The “what not” in question was the difficulty with the shoes; I didn’t want to bore you with my shoe tying stories (even though my mom still brags to the neighbors about my tying prowess ever since I moved up from Velcro in the 10th grade). Sadly, you forced my hand and now everyone has had to read it, and by everyone, I mean the few who (1) read this blog and (2) haven’t stopped reading this comment yet.
The problem is that, a few mornings ago, while I was tying my shoes, my shoelace snapped (causing the hand pulling on the lace to hit myself in the nose). The only replacement I could find is disgustingly long and thin, so I have to triple knot my shoes to keep from stepping on the laces. It’s not much fun trying to undo a thin, triple knot with your eyes closed and while trying not to think about the intense burning from the pesticide. The “what not” in question was the difficulty with the shoes; I didn’t want to bore you with my shoe tying stories (even though my mom still brags to the neighbors about my tying prowess ever since I moved up from Velcro in the 10th grade). Sadly, you forced my hand and now everyone has had to read it, and by everyone, I mean the few who (1) read this blog and (2) haven’t stopped reading this comment yet.
damn, you catholics are some rough people. too much pent up tension.
That's why Catholicism is so friendly to drinking. Since Lauren and I don't drink, we lose the proper Catholic way to get rid of tension. At least Lauren can let out steam by attacking me. My only outlet is making a fool of myself in Con Law.
that "trojan wrapper" bit was pretty funny.
I felt bad making the argument, since I was badgering RHM and actually agreed with her. That particular argument bugged me, and I'm not going to pass up a chance to talk about condoms. At least I mentioned the wrapper and not the other trash that follows condom use.
don't sweat it, sam. that was kinda fun. i mean, i did volunteer to throw myself to the lions, right?
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